Is it the Economy or is it You?

I went to a holiday party last night and caught up with a few neighbors who have daughters around the same age. One neighbor's daughter graduated this year and is gainfully employed as a nurse and another has a daughter who will be graduating in June. She has two offers in hand and has chosen to work for a firm in Boston and will begin in June of 2010. This got me thinking about the parents that I've encountered whose children have graduated within the last year or so who are either unemployed or severely under-employed. Is it the economy or is it the child or in some cases the parent?

Here are some questions worth considering:

1. Am I doing my child a favor by allowing them to live rent-free when they should be able to make enough money to at least cover the rent?
2. Am I doing this because it's best for my child or because I'm not ready to let go?
3. Is my child really actively seeking employment or has he, like so many others, simply given up?
4. How can I best support my child through this difficult period?
5. Would my child be more responsive if I wasn't trying to be a mother/father and a coach?

Difficult questions to answer, particularly as we near the holidays. But these are the types of conversations that need to happen between parents and their children.

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